If I was a bachelor contestant

Hey there Bachelor,

"Are you looking for something freaky ,are you looking for something creepy are you looking for some silence of the lambs action ..... well then you have come to the right place mmhhahahha."

wouldn't' that be a great opening line for a girl to say to the bachelor ? I mean i would jazz my pants seriously i would. I'm so sick of all these models/ actresses/ p.r girls I mean can't they find girls that have real jobs like a career criminal that's a career , or a sheep Herder or Walmart greeter those girls would be way more interesting than p.r consultant-what is a p.r consultant any way what does that mean really really mean? does it mean penis revitalizer a.k.a stripper?

Now if I was bachelor contestant I would say the following: " Hey now I know your thinking this may be A Lord of the Ring reunion special , cause why did they ask Golum to be on the show ? but let me just tell you I do not want to invade your plane like a group of Dutch tourist (the latest bachelor is a pilot) , I do not want to get freaky with you in the hot-tub , I worked in a hotel and I have seen what really goes on in those hot tubs. I am a Walmart Greeter and I collect Beanie Babies. So if you want to get your rocks off with someone real , I'd be your girl. "

nice honest and too the point. that's just me and I am slightly crazy.

Lisa